Lately I’ve been struggling with something. After 3 months of marriage I am still finding myself in a very transitional stage of life. No job (well sort of), no activities, I find myself in a place where my life revolves around waiting.
Waiting to see where we’ll be living in a month. Waiting to see if I’ll have a job or where I’ll be. Waiting for a semi-permanent place to live, which is determined by some of the other things we are waiting on. Which just makes it one big vicious circle.
I’ve been struggling with this a lot, particularly because as something I’m waiting on appears to be growing closer and is so close I can almost taste it, that’s when a huge door slams in my face (okay, not a huge door, more like a little doggy door) and God says “Not quite yet.”
My husband was on the cusp of some new opportunities that we had been praying for for months, and 2.5 months later we haven’t heard anything besides wait a little longer. I was so excited after the honeymoon to get all of our stuff packed up and finally moved all together but we are living in a small one bedroom apartment so that hasn’t happened yet. After about a month of looking I finally found a job here! And then I was told I had to wait to start until I took a test……..in 3 weeks. Now I sit here with that test being moved yet another two weeks later, sitting in frustration wondering why? Why does it seem the answer to everything is “Wait”?
I wish I knew the answer to that question. I would love for this to be one of those enlightening blog posts some people post that is so inspiring and makes its readers feel like they’ve learned something. But I don’t have all the answers. All I know is I have to take it one step, one day at a time, trusting in God’s plan and God’s timing. Which is SUPER hard, just so you know. But amidst all of my tears and my frustration I really do believe that He knows what He’s doing and that His way is always better than any way I could ever conceive of doing it.